How to Improve Intimacy in Your Relationship

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Intimacy is defined as “closeness between people in personal relationships.” It’s the sense of another person fully knowing you and loving you both because of who you are and despite it. Intimacy requires honesty and vulnerability, which can be difficult for couples to achieve, but it is the key to a happy and healthy long-term relationship. 

If you’re seeking to improve intimacy in your relationship, here are some tips that can help you, if you feel your level of connection with your partner is lacking. 

1. Remember the good times

Reminisce about the fun times you’ve had together through the years and conjure up all those emotions that brought you to where you are now. Remembering the positive experiences allows you to focus on what is going right in your relationship, even if it hasn’t been perfect.

2. Ramp up physical contact

Physical intimacy is essential when attempting to stay connected as a couple. Make it a priority to reach out and touch your partner as much as possible. Hold hands while walking into the store. Caress their leg while watching TV. Rub their neck while you’re driving. Increase your level of intimacy with simple touches throughout your day. 

3. Schedule sex

Many couples are afraid that scheduling sex will make it less passionate and romantic because it isn’t spontaneous. However, scheduled sex is frankly more likely to happen. Life gets in the way, and if sex isn’t on the schedule, you’re more likely to crawl into bed and think “that can wait until tomorrow.” If you don’t make sex a part of your schedule — integrate it into your routine — then it’s easier to go without and your intimacy will suffer tremendously. 

4. Show your appreciation

You and your partner are part of a team but that doesn’t mean you can take each other for granted. Go out of the way to say please and thank you. Make sure your partner knows that you recognize what they do for you, your home, and your family. Compliment them. Do simple acts of kindness and service. They’ll feel more valued in your relationship and closer to you as a result, which increases intimacy. 

5. Prioritize date night

If you’re experiencing a lot of distractions in your relationship — work, kids, chores — then you need to establish a time each week that you can pull yourself away to focus on your relationship. For most couples, this looks like a date night outside of the home that allows them to focus on their connection as a couple. 

6. Have a life outside of your relationship

To establish emotional and physical intimacy, you also need to honor your individual needs. Too many people deny their physical needs or rely only on their partners to gratify them. Unfortunately, this doesn’t benefit the relationship. When you are fulfilled in other areas of your life, you’re able to give more to your relationship and partner when you’re together. We recommend spending time with friends individually and engaging in hobbies that you feel passionate about. 

Final Thoughts

When you prioritize physical and emotional intimacy, you’ll cultivate a strong couple connection. Use our tips above to help get your relationship on the right path. If you need assistance, learn more about couples counseling at the Quarterlife Center here.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please call us at 1-844-QLC-TALK (1-844-752-8255) or email us here.