How to Support a Depressed Mom on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a special day to celebrate motherhood. Simple, right? Not exactly. For many people, this day can get a bit complicated, depending on many factors, like your relationship with your mother, and your feelings about being a mom yourself.  This is true especially for moms who have recently given birth and are experiencing post-partum depression and/or anxiety on Mother’s Day.  As the friend or relative of a new mom who is struggling in the post-partum stages, you may be unsure how to support and celebrate this special mom on Mother’s Day. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

DON’T buy anything for the home or for the kids and family.

DO buy her a gift that she can use ONLY for herself, like a spa treatment, massage, comfy PJs or other clothing she’d enjoy.

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DON’T plan an event or activity that will require energy and motivation on her part. For someone who is depressed and sleep deprived with a newborn, exerting energy on extra things can be challenging.

DO encourage self-care.  Order a meal in, rent a movie, hire someone to do the laundry, or set up childcare for her.

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DON’T assume she wants to spend the day with her family and children.  These assumptions can lead mothers to feel judged.

DO offer her a break from her mom-duties. Offer to watch the kids while she naps or takes a bubble bath.  Give her the gift of time to relax and rejuvenate.

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DON’T expect her to have “fun,” as that might put pressure on her and make her feel bad for not rising to the occasion.

DO think of Mother’s Day as an opportunity to remind her just how special and loved she truly is!


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Author:

Dr. Christine Greer O’Connor Ph.D., LICSW
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