Handling the Holidays During a Pandemic, Part II

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Some people love the holidays. Come November 1, they can’t wait to put up their Christmas tree, invite friends and family over for Thanksgiving celebrations, and host gift exchanges. 

Yet, for so many others, the holidays can be a difficult time. When you reunite with family you haven’t seen all year (or maybe many years due to the pandemic), you’re often forced to confront topics about your education, career, romantic relationships, and in some cases, trauma. If you’re not ready for that, you’re not alone.

If you’re wondering, “How should I approach this holiday season?” Keep reading! We’re here to help with some tips and tricks that can help you feel more at ease during this time of high emotions. 

1. Identify how you’re feeling.

If you’re having mixed emotions about the upcoming holidays, that’s completely normal. The holidays are already a difficult time for a lot of people, and when you add the complications of a pandemic on top of that, it only makes it more challenging. Take some time to reflect on and dissect your own feelings. After you’ve done this, you’ll be able to make plans about how to best cope with them. 

2. Set boundaries if you need to.

The holidays can be especially stressful because people don’t have firm boundaries with their extended family. If your holiday plans include reconvening with more family members this year, remember to set boundaries that will make you feel safe and comfortable during these interactions. And remember, boundaries aren’t intended to be selfish or disrespectful…they’re intended to be an act of self-care. 

Examples of boundaries you can set include: 

  • “No.”
  • “We can come to your house for dinner on Christmas Eve, but we’ll be spending Christmas morning at home.”
  • “Unfortunately, I won’t be able to bring [insert Thanksgiving dish].”
  • “Please don’t do that anymore.”
  • “I won’t be discussing that during my visit.”
  • “Please do not discuss my past relationship here.”
  • “Please do not comment on my body or food portion.” 
  • “We will only be able to stay for 3 hours.”
  • “Let’s talk when we have more privacy.”
  • “If you are upset, go talk to them directly.”
  • “My opinion on that hasn’t changed.”

3. Make the most of it.

The past couple of years have felt different when the holidays have rolled around, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make it special. You can carve pumpkins, send sweets to family members, exchange gifts, and break out the confetti poppers to celebrate all you’ve been through and what’s to come. If your holiday traditions look difficult this year because of restrictions, manage your expectations and do what you can to adapt your holiday practices to make the most of them. 

4. Get prepared. 

Last year, the holidays were an especially stressful time because of the rising case count and the fear that gatherings would spread COVID-19 even further. This year, there is something you can do to mitigate this risk. If you’re not already, get vaccinated to prevent the spread of COVID-19. The CDC just recently approved the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccination for everyone ages 5 and older. You and your kids can enter into the holidays with this added protection, for peace of mind. 

Final Thoughts

Remember to put yourself and your health first during this holiday season. While the holidays are a time to reunite with family, you shouldn’t put their needs above your own. For additional support, visit the Quarterlife Center. We’re here to help you live life to the fullest.

If you have not read part one please click here.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please call us at 1-844-QLC-TALK (1-844-752-8255) or email us here.

Author:

Dr. Christine Greer O’Connor Ph.D., LICSW
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